Why Do We Stop Ourselves Before We’ve Even Begun?
I’ve considered myself a “creative” person ever since I realized that being creative does not necessitate being artistic. Writing has always been my primary medium of expression, but most recently, I’ve begun considering the world of audio.
A few weeks ago, I decided I wanted to start a podcast. There’s something I find so fundamentally interesting and inspiring about the narrative of people’s lives, especially when it comes to their careers. I wanted to create a career podcast, and I wanted it to be in interview format. I started telling a few people close to me, and the response was generally positive. So, almost as soon as the idea was born, I went to work feverishly planning it out.
After two days of unfiltered excitement, the echo-chambers of self-doubt and “reality” started to settle in.
As it was, my “side-project” time was already pretty full. I had been writing more consistently for the past six months, and was chipping away at an online Computer Science course in my continuous journey of learning to program. Two weeks ago, after a much needed Instagram break, I announced to the world that I was back, I was here to create, and I was going to self-promote.
Was I starting to stretch myself too thin?
Additionally, I knew that if I wanted the podcast to be remotely engaging, I needed to get the audio right. As I dived into researching all things podcast gear, I calculated a total of about $550 to get my show rolling with decent quality. Now that this silly side project had a price-tag on it, the questions I was asking myself became all the more harsh.
Are you really going to commit to this? Do you truly have the time to round up guests, then schedule and conduct those interviews? Is this going to socially exhaust you to the point of quitting?
So, then, I started thinking — why do we stop ourselves before we’ve even begun?
My head was spinning with all of these questions and anxieties, so I decided to write about it. I came up with three guiding thoughts that would help me to stop doubting myself, and to just do the damn thing. If you’re finding yourself in a similar state of creative paralysis, I hope these will help you too.
Just buy the damn equipment.
If your side project requires any sort of equipment, software, or tooling to get started, and you can financially afford it, just buy the damn things. You’ve already got self-doubt going against you — you don’t need the lack of actual tools to block you as well. Plus, if you add in a financial stake in the game, maybe that will motivate you to see it through.
If you ultimately decided against your project, you can always return the gear, or sell it elsewhere. If it’s software you bought and never used, you will be out some funds — but hopefully not too many.
Focus on why you thought of the idea in the first place.
In the midst of figuring out the logistics, planning a course of action, and wondering how you were going to make the time for it all, you may have lost sight of the reason you even came up with the idea in the first place.
In my case, my writing wasn’t checking enough of the “I’m helping others” boxes. Maybe it’s the nature of the things I was writing, but the content I was putting out there felt more self-serving than anything, and that didn’t feel great. As I was reflecting on what I was missing when I was writing, I came up with the idea for this podcast. I don’t want to reveal too many details yet, but it’s something I wish I would’ve had as I was soul searching which career to jump into. So, maybe if I created this, I could help be a sounding board for others facing similar confusion.
Remind yourself of why you are doing what you want to do, and let that be your guiding light. If it doesn’t work out, at least you would’ve given it your best shot. Plus, you’ll never look back and think, “Well, what if I had gone for it?…”
Actually try it out.
If there’s one thing that jumping into programming taught me, it’s that you really don’t know you’ll enjoy something unless you try it out yourself.
So, how do I know I’ll enjoy and commit to this podcast? I don’t. But I won’t ever have that answer unless I dive in head-first. So just give it a try. Get cracking!
